Tips for Dealing with Frustrating Family Members During the Holidays
You’ve just ordered your first pumpkin spice latte of the season when it hits you. Here come the holidays. Sure, there’s fun to be had and connections to re-ignite but, like everything in life, there will be trade-offs. Amidst the pretty wrapping paper and festive gatherings, you’ll be feeling some pressure. Keeping up with the gift-giving and changes in schedule are stressful enough. But there’s another holiday tradition looming: frustrating family members.
Even if your heart skips a beat at the thought of the year-end holidays, you still have to negotiate the contentious conversations and passive-aggressive commentary. How do you keep your eyes on the prize?
Step One: Lighten Your Load
Dealing with annoying relatives is a little easier when you feel rested. Meanwhile, a typical holiday season is notoriously bereft of rest. Therefore, as soon as possible, start recalibrating your year-end plans, e.g.
Practice saying no to some invitations
Work out ways to limit spending but still give meaningful gifts
Don’t let the holiday season disrupt your self-care — get enough sleep, keep going to the gym, and resist the urge to overindulge when it comes to food and alcohol
Make plans to be around people who you align with
Steps like this will help you develop the resilience you need to navigate those frustrating family members. Also, you’re creating a healthy balance of how you allocate your time, money, and energy.
Tips for Dealing with Frustrating Family Members During the Holidays
It’s virtually inevitable that you will find yourself sharing space with someone — family member, co-worker, neighbor, etc. — with whom you do not vibe. For those instances, here are some tips:
Mindset
Expectations: During childhood, it’s pretty normal to envision the holidays to be one amazing moment after another. Sometimes, it even gets close. Today, while you must be more realistic, there is no excuse to slide into pessimism. In other words, balance out your expectations. Recognize that some people are going to cause frustration. But, running parallel to this reality, there are countless opportunities to have a blast. Don’t expect things to be all good or all bad.
Control: Accept that you can’t control how people behave. However, you can absolutely decide how you will respond. Controlling your reaction is your responsibility. Everything else is beyond your influence.
Logistics
Preparation: Sometimes, the latest route to an argument is declaring certain subjects to be off-limits. Avoidance is not necessarily the best option. Instead, if you’re the host, do your best to keep an eye on things from a distance. If you’re a guest, decide before arriving that you simply will not engage or be provoked. In fact, you can choose to be the one who finds common ground.
Collaboration: It might be a friend, spouse, or family member. By find someone to help you keep the peace and avoid common holiday-gathering traps (like political debates). Give each other a signal when you need to be rescued and/or if it’s time to wrap things up. Remember, you are not required to stay until an event officially ends. If you sense a negative shift in energy, call it a night.
Is the Holiday Season Causing Anxiety?
There are years when it’s more than just an argumentative uncle. You may find yourself stuck in a mindset of dread. Considering the level of division these days, this is not exactly rare. Well, keep in mind that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Connecting with an experienced therapist is a proven path toward learning how to regulate your emotions and understand their root causes. Let’s connect and talk before the holidays get the better of you. Anxiety or depression therapy can help you cope!